So okay technically Thor 2 should come before Cap 2 but I didn’t want to watch Thor 2 on my birthday, i wanted to watch Cap 2 on my birthday BECAUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY. nobody wants Thor 2 for their birthday it’s a hot mess of a movie with an incredible cast just all tangled up in a really intensely bad script.

BUT DAMN THO If i could just watch a mastercut of the Thor and Loki scenes, with additional Darcy and Selveig for comic relief, I’d be ALL! OVER! THAT!
 

• 
  “…back into one of eternal night” <– this whole concept makes The Roommate disproportionately angry.
  • The Roommate: WHY THO
  • The Roommate: NO LIGHT MEANS NO PLANTS
  • The Roommate: NO PLANTS MEANS NO FOOD
  • The Roommate: WHAT? WILL? YOU? EAT??
    • (it should be noted that, for all its flaws, the roommate L O V E S this movie.)
    • The Roommate: It’s a terrible, but it’s a perfectly enjoyable movie!

• this is a waste of a perfectly good eccleston tbh
• “The aether was destroyed.”

• The Roommate would like to know (and so would I): where is the Reality Stone hidden, exactly?? Because it looks like it’s on the Dark Elves’ planet, right? And that is?? A terrible??? hiding place?????
  • Where should we hide this thing?
  • I know
  • the last place anyone knew it was
  • i mean we could hide it, literally anywhere else
  • like say
  • the heart of a star or inside a black hole maybe but nah
  • we’ll just leave it right here.

• (lotta lotr memes in this one sorry not sorry)
• LOKI’S HERE thank god
  • listen i am not a Loki Fan™ but even i can see that loki is one of this film’s saving graces. 
• yoUR BIRTHRIGHT! WAS TO D I E !
  • The Roommate: Why are they having this conversation? Did Odin just think to himself: “hey i haven’t been angry in a while, I’ll bring my youngest up here to yell at him.”
• CHUCK! Chuck’s here!
• Oh hey, it’s Wrong Korg
• So nice that Thor’s character development is inextricably tied to his hair. Like you can totally tell exactly where he is in his Journey™ by how long/short/blonde his hair is.
• I am but a humble gay pagan but I would like to thank both god and jesus for this slow pan up Thor’s abs.
• CHRIS O’DOWD IS HERE!!
• D A R C Y  I S  H E R E
• So… is Jane still working at SHIELD at this point? it’s a little unclear but we need to know For Reasons. Timeline Reasons.
• seabassseabassseabassseabass
  • I’ll just sit here and say sea bass alone
    • ^possibly the best exchange in the script
• *wiggles fingers* give me your shoe
  • honestly every single line that Darcy presumably ad-libbed is better than every single scrap of dialogue between the poor Asgardians.
• I know it’s ridiculous that all the aliens speak english but
  • LET 👏 CHRIS 👏 ECCLESTON 👏 SPEAK 👏 ENGLISH
• Thor getting hassled for leaving the party early is a Big Introvert Mood
  • Also, I think??? they’re trying to imply that Sif wants to bang Thor???
  • and ok everyone wants to bang thor a little
  • but Sif and Thor are BroTP goals tbh
• NOT AS BROTP GOALS AS HEIMDALL AND THOR THO.
• “SHIELD crawling all over Area 51ing the place”
  • WHEN? DOES THIS HAPPEN?? because this stuff about Jane not being with SHIELD made me think it was after TWS even though it came out first, BUT that doesn’t seem right given the “you were in New York” line and the line about it being two years and THE MCU TIMELINE IS JUST REALLY CONFUSING OK
• Thor is so heart eyes at Jane that’s adorable tbh
  • but as a brief aside, I’m not sold on the chemistry between Jane and Thor. Like, Thor is clearly head over heels, and Jane does all the, like, motions, but I have trouble Feelin It.
  • I think this is because Natalie Portman has Big Dick Energy and UNPARALLELED Fuckoff Vibes

Originally posted by lifedeathandlovefromstankonia

• Odin is so racist???
  • (honestly, let Jane hit HIM with a chair)
• I do love this book tho
• “While the other relics often appeared as stones, the Aether is fluid and ever changing.”
  • “…until we don’t need it to be anymore. cuz lbr it’s gonna be hard  to put something ‘fluid and ever changing’ in… let’s say…. some kind of ………… gauntlet.”
• why is it necessary to stab this guy to hide the weird berserker rock on him???? 
  • this seems even worse than sticking it up his butt.
    • just saying.
• “If they were beneath you they’d all be dead”
  • weird flex but ok
• “a mere handful compared to the number [of lives] that Odin has taken himself.”
  • in retrospect, boy’s got a point.
• NatPort here has gotta be having some pretty terrible flashbacks to Episode II
• Kursed Guy is So Extra™
• Literally everything Loki does is Iconic™
• Honestly there’s more chemistry between Sif and Jane than between Thor and EITHER OF THEM
• I know it’s only the one and there are more but can we just appreciate that Heimdall takes this spaceship down
  • ON FOOT
    • WITH A COUPLA POCKET KNIVES
      • G O D D A M N
• They have guns. The Dark Elves have guns, the Asgardians have anti-aircraft guns
  • why do they still fight with s w o r d s and s h i e l d s
    • you have to get within stabby distance to use em guys
      •  w h y
• So Frigga is the Goddess of Kicking Ass and Taking Names, yeah?
  • You know, I always forget to include Frigga in lists of characters who die and stay dead and just because this movie kind of sucks doesn’t mean I should Disrespect her that way.
• this scene probably gave NatPort flashbacks to Episode III
• The Roommate: They don’t tell Loki until after the funeral so he can’t make A Scene ™
• pooter!
• Odin Borson: Bad Father, Surprisingly Even Worse King
  • “the difference is that I will win”

• You know, Heimdall grows his hair out p quick for the next movie
• “treason of the highest order”
  • Broke: Thor is warning Heimdall that this is gonna be dangerous
  • Woke: Thor is luring Heimdall into his plan with the promise of dat sweet, sweet treason
    • Heimdall is literally always DTCHT (down to commit high treason)
      • Odin ain’t even mad about it. Heimdall is too pretty to prosecute.
• LOKI!CAP AW YIS
• “IS IT MADNESS? IS IT?? IS IT???” –> “ARE YOU MAD?” “possibly.”

• Also, an excellent but underrated Loki Line:
  • ta daaaaaaaaa
• “She wouldn’t exactly be shocked” is literally something I have said to MY brother about my own mom. a+ dialogue
• SADLY IT’S IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY
  • “I wish I could trust you.”
  • “trust my rage”
    • *MIGRAINE ELROND INTENSIFIES*
• what’s a light stabbing between brothers
• I just don’t get how this is an achievable goal with only one stone. Even being in the right place at the right time… i am……… skeptical
  • like it took all six stones AND the gauntlet just to kill half of all life, and Malekith is gonna take out the entire universe with one stone and, like, a fricking solar eclipse? I Doubt This.
• “See you in Hel, monster.”
  • The Roommate: I wish he’d said bitch.
  • Me: He said bitch in his heart.
• Loki dying turns Thor scottish for a hot second there.
  • seriously, watch that bit again
  • “ahhhh yeh fül, yeh dedn’t lesten”
• this scene loses all drama potential and becomes Pür Comedy when you know that Loki’s totally fucking fine
  • seriously
  • he dies for all of 2 minutes
  • it’s like, his hallmark: Heimdall commits treason and Loki “””Dies”””” it’s just what they do
• Honestly, Erik Selveig and his budgie smugglers are the real heroes of this movie
• The Roommate: England does not deserve this.
  • The Roommate: … ok maybe they did
• This whole end fight is actually Comedy Gold and they should’ve just had this be the soundtrack it would be 8000x better 
  • Obligatory Minute of Silence for the Movies We Could Have Had if They’d Brought Taika on From Thor 1.
• is malekith? like? huge now?
  • it’s really unclear…
• “he was gone for 2 years” 
  • OK the roommate and I are officially throwing this movie in between The Avengers (which happens in early/mid 2012, probably) and Iron Man 3 (which happens Christmas 2012) in our ARCH 616 Marvel Timelines Syllabus Thingy. we’re guessing this movie happens around Oct/Nov 2012.
• What actual evidence is there that Loki “knew rule”? Do the Odinson Boys know that Rule =/= mass murder and tyranny? Have they considered some kind of democracy??
• “One son who wanted the throne too much, another who will not take it.”
  • The Roommate: it’s like you’re a bad dad or something.
• The Ominous Sting over the Loki reveal is RiDiCuLous when you know that all Loki does as king is, like, provide funding for the arts and shit. Like, he’s literally this guy: