ANYWAY ON WITH THE REWATCH.

• Ivan Vanko hiding with his face in the corner, clutching a bottle of Vodka is extremely hashtag relatable. Also, is he feeding his dying father vodka-soaked ice chips? is this an old Russian folk remedy? The Roommate says: it’s a nice foil to CATFA: “ah yes. you haff procedure tyomorrow. make sure you haff plenty of vodka. stay nice and hydrated.”

• hey we saw all this last time. back in the days when Marvel still felt the need to recap. now they’re just like “HOPE YOU DID YOUR HOMEWORK BITCHES.”
• Tony Stark is dropping out of a plane, in a weaponized exoskeletal suit, over New York City, in 2010. I know he’s Tony Stark , but he should not be able to do any of this. (but tbf presumably Pepper arranged this YEARLONG EXPO (holy shit) and Pepper Potts can do Literally Anything.)
• The backup dancers feel like another callback to CATFA but this came out BEFORE CATFA so maybe the backup dancers are a callback to this???? but in-universe, it’s the other way around???????
• i mean of course Tony built a specialized gadget to test his blood toxicity but also TONY YOU BUILT A SPECIALIZED GADGET TO TEST YOUR BLOOD TOXICITY??? GO TO THE DOCTOR
• is that olivia munn?
• pooOOTERRRRR
• IS THAT KATE MARA??
• oh no gary shandling noooooooo
• “he insists it’s a shield” ohohoHOHOHOHOHOHoho burn.
  • but no, actually a burn because it’s deffo a callback to the Great Works that Howard Stark Did.
• RIGHT RHODES!!!!!!!
• ah yes. an LG starkphone. before Vevo got their dirty paws all over the Avengers product placement money
• it’s nice of JARVIS to sum this up for us. And So Snarkily!
• seriously, Tony is giving away his worldly possessions, talking legacy, quitting his job… HOW DOES PEPPER NOT SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE
• Natalie Russian?
  • The Roommate points out that she hated ScarJo the first time she saw this, but now literally cuts her hair to look like ScarJo
  • this got me thinking about what this scene is like from Nat’s POV. She’s a KGB assassin, trained from (birth?? probably?) and she’s been with SHIELD no less than a year (if the Winter Soldier shot her while she was working for SHIELD in 2009)
  • And now she has to do this shit.
• elon musk?
• Tony literally looks HIMSELF in the eye and says: “You got any other bad ideas?” TONY IS THE VILLAIN OF THIS PIECE.
• in what way is tony qualified to do this
• Poor Nat. “Get close to him” they said. “evaluate him for the avengers initiative” they said. “a plush assignment” they said. fuck you nick.
• Vanko: ~cool guys don’t look at explosions~
• TONY YOU BROUGHT A CHAIR TO A WHIP FIGHT. TONY YOU’RE A HOT MESS. YOU LITERALLY ARE. YOU ARE ON. FIRE.
• I love the way the iron man suits keep getting smaller. i feel like this is a real reflection of how technology has evolved in the real world – keeps getting smaller and faster and more advanced.
• good work to the blonde extra standing behind justin hammer she is giving 112%
• Vanko in his budgie smugglers here. He had literally no plan? he’s just, like, making it up as he goes? actually, wtf was he doing on the racetrack anyway? he didn’t know tony would be there??
• ~cool guys don’t look at explosionsss~
• So Vanko Sr got shipped back to Russia but Zola gets to stick around long enough to turn into a bank of computers?
• RIGHT RHODES!
• Q U E E N S
• the scene where Nat’s helping Tony get ready for the party:
  • The Roommate: See this is why I didn’t like Natasha the first time she turned up. I thought she was going to break up my OTP. Like. What– what’s she doing here?
  • Me: It’s a test. It’s all a test. It’s always a test. And Tony. Is. Failing.
• Tony. what are you doing. tony. stop.
• James Rhodes And The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day, but also.
• wwwwwow, rhodey is
  • Very.
    • Hot.

• Tony yelling at his own reflection again, because he’s a strong independant protagonist who don’t need no villain he can be his own villain, clearly.
• They crossed the streams!
• Rhodey manages to make the Iron Man mask look Disappointed. *patrick stewart voice* ~acting~
• eyyy! it’s that guy from IM1!
  • hey let’s make an aside here, because earlier in the movie Tony mentions Uncle Sam and let’s just all agree right here right now that Rhodey and Sam definitely know each other. They know each other before Sam becomes an Avenger. first time Steve brings Sam to the tower and Rhodes is there, it’s like “OH HEY MAN HOW ARE YOU? STILL FLYING WITHOUT A PLANE? GOOD TO SEE U DUDE.”
  • they’re going to get along so well with Carol I’m already excited
• oh hey Fury’s here.
• I love how proud Fury is of his daughter.
• his adopted russian daughter. Such A Proud Dad.
• “a vodka fueled rage” he says. “not a good environment to raise a kid in” he says. And what kind of environment was tony raised in?
• “you can solve the riddle of your heart” they sure did make Samuel L Jackson say those words.
• PHIL’S HERE
  • god i love phil
• I love that Rhodes takes the arc reactor out before Hammer gets here.
• “I call it the Ex Wife”
  • The Roommate: ugh of course you do.
• I also love how deadpan he is. “I think I’ll take it.” “Which one?” “All of it.”
  • The Roommate: James Rhodes here, continuing to be Very Sexy. Don Cheedle is definitely sexier than Terrence Howard FIGHT ME.
  • Me: why would anyone fight you on that YOU’RE RIGHT
• To answer my earlier question: A scotch-fueled rage.
• Howard 2.0 being very Walt Disney here.
• “I didn’t come here to apologize” MAYBE YOU SHOULD, BUDDY.
• Pepper: No.
  • The Roommate: Pepper’s superpower is calling the authorities and saying no.
• i love that pepper and nat are bros now, like. it’s like that story when the girl meets her boyfriend’s side chick and they become BFFs.
• Tony figuring out the thing with the pavilions:
  • The Roommate: Tony really actually is smart, but it gets lost in all the bullshit.
• PHIL’S HERE
  • Fanboy Phil.
    • “Not that much.” God I love phil.
• B I C E P S
  • tony should always wear tank tops
    • always
• side note: this is tesseract material, right? i mean we’re all agreed that the element that Tony rediscovers is whatever the Tesseract is made of. right?
• Justin Hammer: Maybe I’ll get laid.
  • The Roommate: You Will Not.
• Pepper and Nat in matching outfits I love this.
• Ok as soon as that glass starts falling – i mean. all these people are dead, right? everyone who came to the expo is pretty much dead now.
• JAMES RHODES AND THE TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY
• Pepper and Nat are the real dream team here.
• “nice work kid” SO CUTE
• OMG PROPERTY DAMAGE????
• We Do Not Care for ScarJo’s Wig Here. This scene would’ve been so much better if she left her hair in that bun it was in earlier. her hair is all in her face all through this scene NAT WOULD NEVER BE THIS CARELESS, HAIR LIKE THAT IS GOOD FOR GRABBING AS EVERY WOMAN WHO HAS EVER WALKED IN THE DARK KNOWS
  • subnote: happy she does not require your assistance.
• Tony and Rhodes are literally playing a video game here, they might as well be back at MIT in Rhodey’s dorm room playing call of duty or whatever game they played back in the day.
• they’re crossing the streams!
• The Roommate: I like the little vroom vroom noises the suit makes
• “you deserve better”
  • Me And The Roommate: Yeah, she does.
• “you couldn’t afford me.” Dat Ass, Tones. Dayum.
• JAMES RHODES IS A NATIONAL TREASURE, GARY SHANDLING, GOOD OF YOU TO NOTICE
• oh hey phil’s here